One year ago

It's April 1 2024. And no, this is not an attempt at an April Fools joke.

After a year of contemplation, I've finally made the decision to return to writing on my own platform.

My mindset has shifted significantly during this time, and I've had to summon the courage to embrace this new journey.

Let me take you back...

In early 2023, I made the bold transition from journalist to copywriter. While excited for change, I was also apprehensive. I was leaving behind a stagnant environment where my efforts often went unnoticed, despite meeting some wonderful people. Moreover, the perpetual underpayment in journalism added to my decision to move on

So when I resigned and entered agency life, I couldn't help but think about the perceptions. Positive and negative and even joked at the time, "I think I can deal with the suffering, I would be able to afford a therapist." Oh, the power of the tongue.

The first 9 months were a rollercoaster.  Despite receiving the accolade of Rookie of the Year, I struggled with low expectations and personal challenges, including financial woes and imposter syndrome.

It's a space I thought I wouldn't be able to navigate but I quickly figured out how to navigate it all.

Trying to get back up and develop the inner strength to do so.

But I did quickly spiral from December 2023 to now. So what changed, Rookie of the Year?

Going into the new year, I already set my expectations low, I don't why, but it just felt like things were shafting negatively in all aspects of my life.

Currently, I'm navigating a path of uncomfortable growth, relying on journaling, walks, counselling, and giving myself the grace to cope. It's been a month since I started, and while there's progress, I acknowledge this journey will be long.

I suck at the moment, I overthink, I have anxiety and have moments of depression.

Currently, I am at the point in my life where bad things repeatedly happen, like I can't catch a break.

Throughout this time, I've been fortunate to have a supportive network offering invaluable advice and encouragement.

Though hindsight remains elusive, I'm optimistic about the future.

While my posts won't solely focus on sombre topics, expect a mix of food, adventure, entertainment, and lifestyle content. And I am actually funny, you just can't tell right now.

I can't wait to write more of this. So, here's me, Sandisiwe 'Sandi' Mbhele at this moment.